An Irreverent Look at the News
For the Week of August 14—20
The Party of Law and Order
A Republican in Florida (of course) got himself banned from Twitter for calling for violent assaults on FBI agents. Luis Miguel is running for Congress as a Republican and said Floridians should murder FBI agents on sight. He calls himself a Christian Nationalist, but which nation? He defends the Confederacy, so I guess it’s not the United States. He also told men to “Embrace the patriarchy.” Another warped Republican from Florida. It must be the heat and humidity.
Some Republican Newspeak
A classic example of Republican Newspeak is the hilariously misnamed “Moms for Liberty” who flutter about screaming why there’s too much freedom and how we need the state imposing their right-wing morality on everyone. Now one of these women is demanding the state impose apartheid in the schools and separate all LGBT students into special classrooms. Moms for Liberty member Crystal Alonso, from Florida of course, said:
“The kids that do have their, you know, they’re confused, or they are gay or whatnot that the way they’re trying to go about it is to make it an open conversation and an open thing in classrooms.”
“But like for example children with autism, Down Syndrome, they have to have special IP meetings with a counselor, they have to be put into separate classrooms. I understand, because it’s a different type of education for children with those disabilities, but I think that for children that identify differently, there should also be like a specialized… something for them, so that they feel that they’re important enough that they’re being counseled.”
Before they like, decide how schools like should be run, shouldn’t they like know how to like speak?
In the interview she was doing for Moms for (sic) Liberty Crazy Crystal said LGBT kids should not be allowed in class with others “for the same reason why teachers wouldn’t just bring a child with autism in front of the class and be like, hey, he’s got autism.”
Dame Dingbat of Ditsy-Dizzy
I decided Marjorie Taylor Greene should have an honorary title: Dame Dingbat of Ditsy-Dizzy. Lady Dingbat is introducing new legislation to protect parental rights by stripping parents of the right to make medical decisions for their transgender children. Greene is going to introduce legislationthat makes it a criminal act for parents to offer trans children gender-affirming care. Remember there are no surgeries performed on trans kids under 18 years of age — that is a myth pushed by the bigoted right. She wants to strip all parents of their rights and impose the evangelical view on everyone in the country. That’s so Republican of her.
If Only They Were Being Replaced
One-third of Americans say they are being “systematically replaced by immigrants.” That is also roughly the number of morons in the country. How is it they are being replaced and yet, at the same time, they are part of a job market where needed workers are harder to find. The national unemployment rate is 3.5%. For whites — who are the clowns who think they are being replaced — it’s 3.1%. These white racists are fingering Hispanics for this alleged replacement yet Hispanics have an unemployment rate of 3.9%. So the people these bigots think are being “favored” over them have higher unemployment levels. For their claims to be true the stats should be the other way around. Alas if they could do logic and facts they wouldn’t be Republicans.
Stranger Things in the Upside-Down Land of Florida
In fascist Florida Republicans passed the so-called “Stop the WOKE Act.” A federal judge said the law cannot be enforced as it turns legal rights upside-down. He said: “Recently, Florida has seemed like a First Amendment upside down. Normally, the First Amendment bars the state from burdening speech, while private actors may burden speech freely. But in Florida, the First Amendment apparently bars private actors from burdening speech, while the state may burden speech freely.”
Under the Republican law private businesses were forbidden to address race issues in employee training programs. Yes, in GOP Newspeak everything is turned upside down. Freedom is slavery and slavery is freedom. Praise Jesus.
The judge also noted that while federal law says one may not discriminate it does not inhibit speech, only conduct. “Title VII does not regulate speech” but the Florida laws “targets speech… and only incidentally burdens conduct.” Florida is an upside-down world indeed, but we can expect stranger things from the GOP haters.
I was recently told Florida is much better than New York City. Florida residents are more likely to murder one another or kill themselves than people in NYC! The homicide rate in paradise is 7.8 while NYC, typically called “crime ridden” by conservatives, is 5.5. The suicide rate in Florida is 13.2 per 100,000 people but only 6.1 in the Big Apple. Florida’s murder rate is significantly higher than the national average. Paradise indeed.
Burn Those Guides For Helping LGBT Kids
In Florida the Republican Education Commissar ordered all schools to trash their support guides for LGBT students. The new policy is one that says any kids who tells a teacher in confidence they might be gay should be turned over their parents and ratted out—which dramatically increases the chances of physical abuse or becoming homeless by Godly parents. Censorship laws pushed through by America’s worst governor are now being interpreted as tyrannically as possible with utter disregard for the well-being of the students.
Show Us Your Genitals
In Utah two sets of parents were upset because their precious brats placed 2nd and 3rd in a girl’s sporting event. Using new intrusive laws passed by Republicans they demanded an investigation into the winning child’s genital for proof she was a girl. They argued she had to be transgender or their drooling spawn would have won. It is a crime for a trans child to participate under GOP central planning. So they investigated and found the winner had “always been a female.” Thanks to the GOP bitter parents can play Gender Gestapo and go after any competitor who beats their “Precious.”
The Desperation of Puny Putin
Desperate for cannon fodder to be sent off to kill for the sake of his fragile ego puny Putin has revived a $16,000 payment to Russian women if they have 10 or more children. He’s running low on Russian victims to be sent to die.
Russian soldier Daniil Frolkin has publicly stated he and other soldiers were ordered to slaughter civilians. He says Russian troops regularly looted the belongings of the civilians they attacked. He said they couldn’t find Putin’s imaginary “Nazi” menace just average people.
